i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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