somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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