So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize