im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
