My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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