i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
