Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
