Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
