I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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