first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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