Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
