I need help removing her.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He felt like a one man threesome
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize