I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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