He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
