between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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