Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
