i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize