Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You need a sexual gate keeper
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
