there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm like, not good at living.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
