my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
