tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
