oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize