I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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