I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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