I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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