Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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