Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
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