I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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