great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
