I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize