Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
