Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
