I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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