So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
