can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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