the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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