My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
