so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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