Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
