i jhust puked up my retainher.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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