Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
