i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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