Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
