Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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