I must be too annoying 4 u.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
