You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize