just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize