I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
