just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
