So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
