Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
