I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
