Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I want to be your penis for a week.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize