What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
