he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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