no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
