I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
third nipple confirmed
Randomize
