Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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