If i come over, it means nothing
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
