Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
