Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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