Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
