he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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